This is a fiction story, about love and how you thought you met the right person. But someone else surprised you. Hope you like it.
Love can be a beautiful thing. I would say there are many forms of love that came be for anyone. You can be in love with yourself you don’t need anyone but yourself. Love can hurt so bad you don’t want to feel love again.
And then there is love for that one person you cannot live without. That makes you feel whole as one person. It’s unconditional your heart is bursting you can’t wait to be with that person. Love bursting out of you. Why didn’t I find that love ages ago why did it take so long. Love is a beautiful thing. You can love anything the way the trees move the way the leaves change in season. Close your eyes and you can love the way the air smells and you breathe in the love for life.The zest you feel I will love everything in my life including the air we breathe. The last breath we took.
If you closed your eyes and take a long breath and breathe out empty your brain think of nothing like you are living a fresh new life. Think of what you love what makes You feel whole to get rid of the bad negativity and bring positivity in your brain all the love you feel for yourself for anyone you love In your life. And put all that love and positive thoughts in your brain. As you slowly open your eyes you feel like you are floating on air and nothing can come between you and yourself. You have no self doubt no one can say to you are not loved you are not hated you are great beautiful person. Who deserves love. you follow that you can do anything and you will be unstoppable. In my life I always had negative thoughts come my way all these negative bad words enters into your head you want these bad words to stop. To increase your anxiety to make up you feel you can’t do anything. When in-fact you can do anything if you put your mind to it. First you have to love yourself before you love anything or anyone.
You need to find yourself of who you are of what kind of person you are when you know that and you can say to yourself I love who I have become I am proud of me. You can extend that to love others. To go into something and not love yourself can be toxic. Your life can fall apart to brink of destruction to where you can never come back. You want to bring the light back to clear your head and feel that void to happiness to love to content of who you are and what person you have become. people can tell you what to do etc but if you have the strength to say no. No is such a powerful word we don’t use it enough. To say yes all the time people can stomp on you take advantage even. No is like you can’t walk over me I am not a pushover I will show you I am so much worth than you can ever know. I am a million of every one of you.
When you look in the mirror and really look and see what you are don’t just glance but really stare to point where you are looking through you.
I have looked in the mirror and saw myself right my eyes and I saw this sadness and sometimes hope that things will change and I would feel happiness that warm feeling that content can happen and everything around you is beautiful if you close your eyes you can dream of another life where there is peace and serenity.
If you look around you and really open your eyes there is love everywhere even hating someone so much comes in form of love. Why would you put so much energy in hatred when there was love before that. When two couples come together there was love in the beginning so pure without a care in the world in a bubble just the two of them.
As I looked out the window and waiting for my love to come back to me days turned into weeks. I couldn’t stop looking waiting for a shadow to appear through the mist. But there was nothing. My mind raced through every single thing wondering if he was telling the truth if he truly loved me. Or was it just false so he could get away and start a new life. Margaret thought I was over thinking and should try and get out and do things to keep my mind occupied.
What a beautiful day It is sun shining birds singing it would be so perfect if I had my love next to me. But it isn’t to be. I hope it does come true. Walking through the meadows not a care in the world.
Excuse me as I turned there I saw a beauty staring through his eyes I saw more than a person I saw a beautiful soul that struck in ways I never felt before. I could feel my heart racing my cheeks starting to flush. Are you ok yes sorry how can I help. I think I am lost I meant to be starting a new job at this place but can’t seem to find it. Why are you laughing I live here you do yes did I disturb your walk oh no I will walk back with you. Thank you it’s a beautiful place thank you it’s a peaceful place to live.
Margaret turned and her eyes literally popped out thought she was going to pass out at one stage. Would you excuse us of course where did you find him he is not a object. Well I don’t know. He is starting his new job here apparently and got lost. He must be the new gardener. Hi are you the new gardener I am! I will introduce you to the senior gardener who may help you.
As I walked away oh he is a delight. You have to get to know him are you crazy I am not doing that why not because I am involved with someone. Who has vanished and hasn’t even been in contact for weeks. You are mad do you know that. You go for it then I will gladly.
I walked away but in that instance jealousy took over. Why am I jealous I am with someone.
Can I ask who that lady is she is the owner of this manor she is nice. Its sad really her love went away and was meant to call and be back but he hasn’t returned. Rumours have gone round that he may have met someone.
Anyway here are your items and rota of your hours where to go etc. I will show you where you will be staying. Charlotte what a letter has come through I quickly opened it and there it was from Mr barnes he will be phoning me tonight. He didn’t give much away did he. Is that goods news he phoning me tonight it could be but just be calm ok! I started to breathe calmly.
Waiting by the phone felt like forever. I couldn’t stop pacing up and down. There it was it started ringing as I slowly picked up the phone. The hawks worth residence. Hi charlotte its graham hi sorry it be a while a lot has happened since I left. I had to find the strength to phone you and I couldn’t put it in the letter. What wrong I am not coming back what do you mean while I was away I have found someone else. Found someone you only been away for a couple of weeks. It been happening for over six months every time I went away for work. You being serious I couldn’t believe what I was hearing I slumped to floor in shock I couldn’t stop shaking charlotte what happened graham what happened I am sorry tell her I am sorry I didn’t mean for anything to happen not like this. As Margaret put the phone down I stared at her with streaming tears how could I been so stupid when everyone else knew apart from me.
What happened he found someone else all this time for 6 months I been waiting for him pining my love for him when he been pining for someone else. What a fool I have been. You are no fool you were in love and still in love and couldn’t see anything but him. Love what kind of love is that pining over a man who doesn’t care about me. Where you going I need to get some fresh air. Charlotte wait I need to be alone.
Running through the halls barging past everyone. I wasn’t looking where I was going and fell head first towards the garden. You ok looking up there he was concerned look on his face I am fine you are bleeding I am fine. I had to run as fast as I can without stopping. There was one place that no one knew on the edge of the country was a cottage that was left for me for solace and peace. The cottage was full of brightness happiness and memories where no bad energy can enter. I felt at home at peace.
As I pulled myself up from the ground with loads of tissues on me. Staring back at me was myself I look torn broken and a mess. Over a man I thought I loved dearly and thought he loved me back. As I came close to the mirror the thought occurred to me if I hit my head hard enough will it make the pain go away. As I started to bang my head at first it hurt and then it weirdly felt good like I was getting the bad out of me punishing myself for letting myself feel this way. I felt this tug someone was pulling me away from the mirror tried to go back to it. But I didn’t have the strength to go back. What are you doing you are bleeding all over I get a cloth sit there don’t move. I stared at myself as I was dripping with blood looking down all I saw was blood on my hands what have I done. It’s ok we just get this all cleared up away from your face and we will have a nice warm drink. To warm you up. As I put my hands to my face what have I done why is this happening I thought I was going to find an ever after the man of my dreams to love me unconditionally.
And I will love him back entirely with my heart. It’s ok it won’t be like this forever you will find true love and all of this be like a distance past. How can you say that put my feelings in a box like it doesn’t matter and somehow everything will be ok. That’s not what I am saying then what are you saying. That one day this will be a distance past and you will laugh about it. Right now it is the most painful thing you can go through. I will help you get through this. I love you dearly with all my heart. What would I do without you. You are my soul mate. Wipe those tears clean your hands we are going out Margaret I am really not feeling it I know you are not but it’s needed for you and me. Do not let him get to you and win as he hasn’t won anything he will not get your tears. As my mother used to say tears in private in public put your upper stiff lip on and head up back straight and stand tall with pride and no one would know what was going on. In my head stand tall head up be brave and firm with confidence.
It been a couple of days since I been out, my eyes couldn’t stand the light the stinging of my eyes the redness around it I looked like someone hit me. Sunglasses will do the trick. Hide away the tears and the pain in my eyes. I walked as quickly as I could hopefully without anyone seeing me. I thought I got away with it. Then ms Dawson as I turned there he was minus his top. I felt like I was going to pass out. I had to hold on to something keep me up. A tree great like that’s going to keep me standing. I haven’t seen you in a while is everything ok oh yes everything fine just been busy. I could see he was trying to look through my sunglasses to see what I am hiding. But I didn’t give him that chance to look I quickly walked away and ran to Margaret. Where were you Steven caught me did he catch you, Not like that. He try to find out where I was. I didn’t give anything away but I am sure he didn’t believe me. Now that’s a guy I could look at forever really now not the time.
There it was in that glimpse that he saw me. I took off my glasses and he saw me the redness the sadness and the feeling of being terrified. It was like he was looking through me.
We need to talk about you what about me, you can’t carry on like this pick yourself up and get out there he picking himself up with a different women might I add. And not the one you think it is. I don’t need to hear about his adventures and other women. You need to open your eyes to the wider picture and look at what you are doing to yourself its not healthy. I know what I am doing I need time. Time it’s been a month you been in that cottage how much time do you need.
I don’t need this a lecture I think I walk alone now I see you back at the manor. Charlotte please wait. I walked so fast I thought my shoes were going to fall off my feet. I could feel them burning. I ran so quickly I could feel myself falling to the ground and my breathing got heavier and heavier to the point I was hyperventilating. Then I collapsed to the floor. Are you ok? don’t rush get up slowly. I couldn’t see who it is as the sun was shining in my eyes. As I got up the figure became more clearer I couldn’t speak I stumbled on my words and went backwards. Go slowly. I have to go back and, panic started rising I could feel myself panicking. Take a deep breath ok and breathe slowly do you feel my heart go with that. I folded on to him so tight I couldn’t let go. Steven grabbed on to me so tight my feet were dragging along the floor I couldn’t even pick up my feet. We finally made it inside and I slumped down into the chair. Have some water thanks I drank it so quickly thought I was going to choke. Slow down it is not a race. As I finally calmed down my breathing came back properly. I looked around and there he was coming towards me looking all concerned. I stood up quickly I have to go and find Margaret she probably worried about me.
Wait Kim don’t rush off you need to relax you got up too quickly before he could finish his sentence I was off. Running across the field and I saw the cottage in sight. I saw Margaret, there you are I been looking for you everywhere. I collapsed and Steven was there and took me back to the house and then I woke up realised he was staring at me and made a run for it. What, he probably thinks you are crazy. Probably for some reason couldn’t stay there. Do you think you like him? No don’t be crazy why would I like him when I am mourning over the person I love. Do you think it was ever love or was it lust sometimes it can be mixed up. As I looked at my friend. I knew deep down was she right but I would never admit that. Are you ok? Yes I am and walked away digging my heels into the ground. In that moment I knew that I didn’t love graham and he was someone filling a void until I met someone new who gave me the feelings I never thought I have. I stopped in my tracks and turned around and walked back to the cottage. I am sorry you were right Maybe I am in denial and covering up what I am really feeling. And what is it that you are really feeling? Hurt, confused, anxious, frustration. You are frustrated in what capacity are you frustrated physically or mentally! What are you getting at the wink said it all. I would say both.
We both laughed it was so obvious what we were both saying but didn’t say it. Don’t you think you should speak to Steven and just explain to him what going on and why you reacted in that way. I don’t know if I got the nerve to speak to him. Running away like I did I couldn’t get away faster I thought I was going to trip over. It’s so embarrassing me running away like a child. I am sure he didn’t feel that way. How do you know that? I am guessing as he seemed like a decent guy who actually cares compared to what you had.
Walking back and thinking what Margaret has said to you could she be right do I need to explain myself to him and mention why I ran away and couldn’t go faster. Charlotte what are you doing on this side I wanted to speak to you and find out if you were ok I was worried about you after you ran away. As I was going to speak no words came out. I just looked at him and stared into his eyes are you ok? Yes sorry just had a thought I have to go that was your thought! Steven I can’t really explain what I did why I ran away but I was in shock and I had fear a rush of anxiety came over me. Why did you have anxiety did I do something no it’s not you its me. Come with me why please trust me I won’t hurt you. For some reason I trusted this guy who I never knew and didn’t know much about. I decided to follow him even though in my head I knew it was the wrong thing to do.
Going through the forest past the trees past the branches. As the trees and branches opened up there it was the most beautiful sight I seen the waterfall the sun glittering on the water. Still and quiet. Going forward I was stopped by a hand what you doing don’t want to go too far as I looked there was a drop where no one wants to fall too. Can we go down or is it too steep to get to we can go but you probably have to hold on to me. I looked at him pre flexed what I need to hold on to you. I am not a damsel in distress I know you are not just want to be careful. Why do you care so much it’s not like you know me. I know I don’t but I can’t explain why I do! I have this pull towards you. As the words came out of his mouth It felt like everything was in slow motion and I was in an another reality.
Charlotte Sorry I can’t stop I have to go. Again running away why was I running it was like I had feelings for him how could I have feelings for him when I don’t know him. This is crazy I was feeling things I never felt before. I was thinking of that hidden waterfall how it find it, I never knew about it and I live here. How long has it been there hidden. Did he know this place before. I decided to venture to the waterfall but this time I go right down into the waterfall.
Climbing down there he was before me swimming around a beautiful sight if I ever saw one. I stopped in my tracks and decided against going down. This was wrong back to the cottage where I was safe and I knew my surroundings. Charlotte I saw you go in open up. I couldn’t hide in here forever I slowly opened the door and there he stood why did you turn back was it Because I was there as you could of come down. What excuse could I come up with this time. But I couldn’t I had to be honest and truthful as he wouldn’t believe me anyway.
Talk to me please I can’t explain really but I get scared when I am around you make me feel like I should be on guard all the time. I don’t want you being scared and don’t want you feeling this way. He came forward me I backed up banging into the table behind me. Charlotte are you there I can hear you talking as I by passed him Margaret, Sorry to intrude as she winked at me. I speak to you later. Please talk aren’t you late for your shift. Oh god you are right. This conversation is not over. We need to talk. As he left I could breathe again. I felt like I was holding my breath forever. What am I doing I can’t feel like this forwards an employee. This is madness I need to get away and think things through with a clear head and come back all fresh.
I got interrupted with my packing and of course it was Margaret what going on here. I decided to make a decision and go away for a bit. What is a bit 2 weeks what for I need to go away and re- think things and come back refreshed. This is not to do with Steven no of course not really. I know he been trying to contact you. Look I need to get away and I promise I be back. Just don’t say anything ok. As she rolled her eyes she agreed with me. Putting my stuff away in the suitcase I had this sense of relief that this was a good idea. And I can decide what to do next. Packing my things into the car I knew it was the right idea for now.
Chapter Two
Love was staring right at you
Steven what are you doing here I am looking for charlotte. She is busy at the moment and can’t really talk. I just haven’t seen her around for a while. Why you so interested I just want to make sure she is ok. She is fine and nothing for you to worry about. You just get on with your job. You don’t have to be so abrupt I am not but really! I felt so bad walking away he didn’t deserve that. Why did she have to go away running away like that doesn’t do anyone any good.
Margaret are you telling me the truth about charlotte oh we are on first name basis now! Please I know you are not telling me truth. Look just take it from me she is busy. And can’t talk right now. As Steven walked away I knew he didn’t believe me. If I knew where she went I could go and make her see sense of what she is doing. I know she has feelings for Steven why won’t she admit and tell him. All this Nonsense.
That’s it I have decided to go to him and tell him all I can’t keep it in anymore. As I got closer I decided against what good would it do I made a promise I have to keep It.
In the office I went going through all her papers I couldn’t see anything about where she was going. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me clearly didn’t trust me. I thought were were soul mates! Then I was about to go and I saw the paperwork of where she is staying. She wasn’t that careful after all.
Shall I try phoning or go in person which one would she be more angry about. Probably in person, never mind needs must. Sitting round here not doing anything is silly I need to find her and explain running away is not the answer anymore. We always want to run away and leave behind what we are feeling not anymore I won’t let it happen anymore.
Driving off the road the eyes I see in Steven was rare and full of beauty was he that interested in finding her and why what would he say to her. Was it true love staring in front of all of us. Or was it just lust and in a split second it was just that and nothing else. I will find out what she is running from. What a beauty I saw I get why she is here why wouldn’t you be the peace no cars not many people.
There she was carrying food like she was born to be by the sea. I backed away and this was a bad idea I should have let her to it when she was ready she would come back. Margaret what are you doing here. I wanted to speak to you but you know I can talk when you are back. What happened nothing happened why do I feel you are not telling me the truth. Maybe because you are paranoid. Her face started to go sad her eyes down and her body hunched inwards. And there was something wrong. Margaret please you come all this way not to tell me what on your mind. Let’s go inside sounds serious you are the funny one now are you? OK, OK!
Must be serious not cracking a smile. I need to know right now what your feelings are for Steven. What, don’t look at me all shocked you know exactly what I Mean. You ran away from him hid from him. Couldn’t even give him eye contact but you are telling me there is nothing. Were you getting all this from. From your reactions! And his reaction as well. What do you mean his reactions. Like you don’t know, I don’t know. Oh my you don’t know of course I don’t how could I ran away from him at every turn .
These feelings I have surrounding him has to go away. But burying them is not going to help. What do you mean how he feels!
He asked about you as he hasn’t seen you in a while. Looked concerned but not sure if it is genuine or just asking he was being polite. I know that look the clocks are turning. You like him don’t you. No don’t be silly why would I like him I don’t even know him. That doesn’t make a difference whether you know someone or not. You could still be attracted to him. The thoughts were running through me did he like me or was it just me looking into things.
When I left I saw it in his eyes the look he gave me like he knew every inch of me. Or was I just running away with my feelings and jumping to conclusions. And wishing it was that. I know you want to forget all about what you are feeling and wishing things would go away but it doesn’t work like that. Why can’t it work like that. Because life not like that. Look at me you need to go with your heart instead of your head and go for it don’t think of the consequences. Just like you do. What that meant to mean! You know you don’t take things to heart and go with the flow. It is not a bad thing! Look I think you should come back I am not ready I will come back in my own time. You are the lady of the house don’t you think people will speak. Who cares what people think especially you who you don’t care about anyone.
That’s not true I do care what people think you are wrong. Am I wrong you want me to come back and face the music as you say. The looks I get the wrong doing apparently and I haven’t even done anything. Those people don’t matter what matters is how you feel what do you want? I want my life back I want to be free of all these feelings I have I don’t want responsibilities I want freedom. Here I have it no one questioning me no one whispering in my ear. I want to be free screaming at the top of my lungs like there was no breath left in me. I didn’t know you felt like that.
My dad might of left me all these things the house money but doesn’t mean anything when you haven’t got your freedom. Listen you can have your freedom how tell me how? We live in a small community where everyone knows each other business. I live in a manor for what reason should I live here too many people too big for just me and no one to share it with. It should be you that lives in that mansion not me it not what I want. This isn’t about me it’s about you and what you have and deserve. For as long as I known you never took anyone for granted and put yourself second best that what your dad saw.
Why he decided to give it to you. But do you know what I see a beautiful person inside and out that can do more with her life. Instead of being a housewife. I always thought that just didn’t’t have to courage to say it. I know your dad meant well. But did he really know what you wanted. What are you trying to say you need to stand on your own two feet without that voice behind you saying you need to do the right thing. What is the right thing anymore. You are your own person you need to live it like it your last. Not like this! I am going back but just think about what I said to you.
As Margaret left was she right was I living through my dad and pleasing him as I always did. But he is no longer here to please why do I care so much about it. I always wanted to make him proud of all I achieved. But what have I achieved apart from gaining a manor which was handed down to me not even mine. What worth am I what can I say at the end this is my life this is what I done by my dad hands and thoughts I pleased him. Do I want that or do I want to live. But what do I do next where do I go I have no experience of living on my own. Where do I start. Have to go back to where it started and where I started my journey of being what my dad expected me to be. I have to stop running away and go back to the manor and face my fears and face them head on.
Margaret where were you I couldn’t find you anywhere. You went to see Charlotte didn’t you I have to get on I was away for too long. Just want to know if she is ok. Why do you want to know you don’t even know her you only spoke to her a few words here. Because she won’t let me speak she always runs away. How can I keep her still long enough for me to say things. I didn’t know what to say all I could say was I have to go you need to get on don’t you. Steven looked at me like he knew what he was talking about but I couldn’t say anything.
I quickly went inside how could I defend Charlotte when I knew he was right. I heard a door bang I jumped out of my skin felt like that anyway. As I turned there she was in front of me what are you doing here. I must of made an impression. You are right I have to face my fears head on and make something of myself. I have decided to get away from this manor my dad built. And stand on my own two feet. How on earth you going to do that you have no job I will get one seriously I don’t think that’s the answer. You said you need to live. Yes I meant to say stay here and build yourself a home somewhere else and something you love. He left you that money but that’s his money that he built with and your mum’s remember she left you with. Why do you think that money is for. Why are you laughing forgot I had the money I thought I had nothing. Oh my what am I going to do with you. I better start planning yeah.
As I walked off I had this spring in my step like I had this new sense of life and I will become something and make something of myself. And not a wife to bear children to a man I don’t like. Walking into the garden there he was looking all hot and sweaty. I felt this sudden rush of panic again I was going to turn around and walk the longer way. But why should I this is my territory and my manor he works here. Head held high and be polite . Walking past charlotte you are back. I didn’t know I went anywhere. I haven’t seen you in a while. I don’t just spend my time in the manor. Rushing past him went round the corner I slammed my self against the wall and breathed out. Sweat was pouring down me I felt like I was having a panic attack.
Are you ok! clearly not let’s go somewhere. I can’t pretend anymore oh so you do like him. That’s great how is that great. Can you imagine the town speaking she with the Gardner that was not surprising. And again why do you care how can I not! This has got to stop go over there and speak to him give him a note anything a note are you serious yes I am if you can’t open your mouth to speak to him what else can you do! I am not giving him a note what am I am in primary or something! Look I need to get on do something about it or just forget it either way sort it out. You are driving me insane!
I am driving her insane how dare she say that to me always pushing me to say something and then gets frustrated with me. Miss are you ok you seem flustered oh I’m ok thanks. Just talking to myself as always. If you need to talk or anything. Thanks but I have to go wait.
He grabbed my arm and it was like I stopped breathing. Please I have to go! Don’t run please stay and talk to me I feel like when I get a inch closer you go! As I turned I was about to run then I stopped. It’s now all never to confront something you must do it head on. I slowly turned and looked at him in his eyes and it felt like forever before I looked away. Don’t look away please. I know you feel something like I do I have this pull forwards you. I can’t seem to shake it. And you know what I realised I don’t want to shake it off. Do you want to ignore this feeling. As I looked up I don’t know what came over me I slowly got closer to him and we were nose to nose. Then one breath out and we locked lips the feeling I got the rush I have never felt before.
I pulled away from him don’t walk away please! This can never work why not it just. It’s because I am a gardener isn’t why does it matter what status I am when all matters is how we feel about each other.
You make it sound so easy when it is not that easy, Charlotte please! I need to find Margaret I don’t know what to do. Running through the woods I just couldn’t stop and I felt like I was turning round and round. And landed on my hands. Looking down at my hands full of dirt I realised this wasn’t a dream. As he knelt down beside me all the hurt I felt rushed away looking at him I couldn’t think.
As he brushed away my hair from my face and used his shirt to wipe away the dirt. For the first time I saw clearly what was in from of me. We stood up together in sync. As I brushed his hair back on how beautiful his eyes are. Took you this long what do you mean to admit how you feel. As I laughed he smiled back. Charlotte oh they you are sorry to interrupt I will go. No it’s fine what happened nothing urgent just mr long has arrived. It’s he meant to be arriving today. According to diary yes. Excuse me as Margaret smiled at me that wicked smile she had.
Mr long how are you nice to see you again, Charlotte nice to see you too. I was awaiting your answer on my proposal, excuse me your proposal yes don’t tell me you forgot already last month I proposed that you date my son. I think I would of remembered that. Don’t you remember he came round here asking questions if you like this and what kind of things you would do if you were on your own. Oh I thought that was a survey of some kind. He is so young mr long. The answer would have to be no. Sorry just too young. I thought you like them young. I think you should go you |don’t come into my home and insult me who do you think you are! Well don’t come to me when you are grey and old and all alone.
The outrage of this man. Margaret was laughing uncontrollably are you seriously laughing. You got to it so funny his son looks about 12.
It was funny can you imagine the look I would get! I think you got more pressing matters to look at. There he was standing tall with his rugged messy looks how could I not go over. What you waiting for go over! As I stood there looking at him I just couldn’t move it was like I was staring in time. He swiftly came over it’s ok you got nothing to be scared of. The brush of his hands on my cheek relaxed me and then I fell into his embrace with ease. Let’s go somewhere private. he pulled me away from Margaret it was a magnet I couldn’t release and I didn’t want to let go of. We need to sort out what are we doing here how we feel where do we go from here. Don’t think I can handle not knowing how you feel if you feel anything.
As I bowed my head down he lifted my head to his eye with his hands. We both looked at each other in that instance all my worries went away and I went with my heart instead of my head!
I do feel something I am just scared. What are you scared about there is nothing to be scared of! I wanted to believe him but something was stopping me. As I backed up I knocked myself against the door don’t do it don’t run please let us talk about how you are feeling. It too much I can’t handle my emotions I have to go sorry I am really sorry! As I rushed out the door this is a mistake I can’t handle this. As I ran through the woods I didn’t know what was ahead of me as I kept running. Running away from my fears my thoughts and feelings for a man I hardly know. As I ran I didn’t see a piece of branch in front of me and I tripped over head first into the leaves and kept rolling and I couldn’t stop myself little did I know there was a cliff below me. Here we are to my death I go as I was rolling I closed my eyes and thinking I will be with my dad now. And then I felt a tight grip on my wrist As I looked up an angel appeared before me and before I know I was on the ground with the brush of a hand on my face. You really do want an attention. I burst out laughing as I was pulled up on my feet. There it was with the light glistening on his face I knew that this was going to feel like I never felt before. And before you know it he kissed me and the fireworks I felt the lightening took over me and fire in my belly exploded.
As soon as I looked in his eyes I knew everything was going to be ok and I felt at ease!
Charlotte you never guessed who turned up graham you serious and he is asking for you. I just need to deal with this but. You have to trust me ok?
As he nodded I knew I had the strength to say no to graham and that this is my life I will follow through with my heart!
Walking back towards the manor there he was staying outside on the patio staring at the hills. It was like the first time we met full, of himself well assured of him. Graham charlotte. What are you doing here I had to see you and apologise I don’t know what I was thinking. That’s the thing you weren’t thinking.
Shall we go for a walk. Walking by him towards the hills. It is a beautiful sight indeed it is. I just want to say I am leaving to go away and won’t be back for a couple of months. Can I ask why you are telling me I thought it be nice coming from me instead of idle gossip. I should be grateful for this compared how I found out about your affair or affairs shall I say. Charlotte please it’s ok I thought you were the start and the end of us I couldn’t go on but indeed I was wrong it wasn’t the end it was just the beginning.
And I realised I am strong I can live my life to my fullest. So you see graham you have nothing to worry about. Good luck on your adventures. I hope you do find happiness with yourself. Charlotte as I looked at him we knew there wasn’t anything else to say in that moment I knew this was the closure I needed I thank you graham for the hurt you caused me the pain I went through. I don’t understand it made me a stronger person. And I thank you. As I turned away with my head held up high I never felt so great and for once I could see happiness and not sadness this was the beginning not the end. over the hill he stood with a forlorn look and then there it was that melted me a smile as big as bright as the sun. As I walked towards him I just knew this is where I meant to be.
This was a place full of love but hurt came with it and overcame what she thought was the end but only the beginning for her. To be proud is to be proud of who you are as a person. And to love and be with yourself is the one thing we truly need in life. To be content with yourself. You can be happy with others. And you can give whole heartily to people that deserve your love respect and have to be true to yourself. As I fell into his arms I knew I felt right at home.
Wanderlust & shutter bliss 